Break-Ins, Disease & Delays

Posted on 07. Jul, 2008 by Holly in Blunt Honesty, Featured Posts, Thai Times

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A major lesson I learned when I was in the Army was “No Excuses.” If you didn’t say what you meant and meant what you said - and followed through - do not give excuses. I learned to take full responsibility for my actions or lack of actions. So, before I continue with my post, I just wanted to say that my “Honest Riches,” update is quite late. I’ve contemplated posting on here to give information about the status and what’s going on, but I’ve been hesitant. Sometimes I am not sure how private to be or how much I should disclose. I have a problem holding back, so I’ve decided to tell you guys what has been going on in the past two months. I put the first sentence, about “No Excuses,” there because I don’t want you to think I am just filling this page with excuse after excuse and I will never finish the update. I want you to know that it’s late and you will be notified as soon as it is done. I don’t want to give you another incorrect date of completion, because honestly everyday has taken such an odd turn (the past few weeks) that I cannot say for certain.

holly mann new house

Holly Mann's new house

About the book, I have been working on it every single day, adding tutorials and resources constantly. The book is laid out entirely different from the last version. It is not an extension of it - it really is its own entire new book - so much more detailed and comprehensive. It will be the ONLY Internet Marketing Guide you will ever need. The Book is separated into 10 Mini-Books (which aren’t so mini because they are each extremely detailed and in depth). Each book will have chapters and related sections, tutorials and resources. Honest Riches is 200 pages in length. The reason it has taken so long to complete (besides the personal reasons) is because of the extremely in depth tutorials, as well as the fact that I am creating this in a manner that will make it simple to manage all the content and links. The big issue for e-book publishers is related to links or hyperlinks within the book. Since the last e-book update, a lot of websites have changed and the links are not dead. I do not want to lead the readers to a dead-end link, so I have to manually cloak every link on the e-book. That way, when a link is changed (on an external site that I am linking to) I can change it through honestholly.com (a cloaker) rather than changing the PDF file and resending an entire new e-book each time. I hope that makes sense. That is a major task and what I am finishing up right now.

Personal Delays - ok now this section is for those interested in the strangely chaotic last two months of my life. First, about a month ago I decided to take Josh out of his school (which he used to love so much). He was moved up from his class to the next one (which is pretty much equivalent to kindergarten in the states, but he is only 3). The teachers were stricter than drill sergeants, and placed a lot of demands on the kids. He had homework everyday and if he didn’t draw his lines perfectly, crossed the ts and dotted the I’s, he’d be reprimanded. I didn’t know this or I would not have sent him there. But he became very afraid to go in, and my intuition told me to not make him go there. I took him there one morning and saw his entire class sitting in a circle praying with incense burning and they had to be perfectly still and do this. I had no idea he was taking part in that every morning. I am Christian, and would prefer to not confuse him with the rituals and strictness. I decided to move him from there. So, after that, he was home with me for a while, until we found an amazing school nearby. It was only a mile from our home. He’s been there for a few weeks and loves it so much - and I truly believe it was a great move we made. It is also in English, but he still learns Thai as well. The school (and principal) are extremely transparent in everything they do and how they operate - and the love having parents stop in and help or play. The other school hardly allowed me to see any of what they did. So, a great door opened up with the closing of the first one. Since then, some of my health problems from the past have popped up. I made an appointment with one of the best hospitals in Thailand (in Bangkok) and planned to go there finally. I made the appointment and the weekend I was set to go there, there was a big political uprising in the city. It was against the Thai Prime Minister - and I decided to cancel the appointment again - to be safe.

So, time passed and as much as I’ve tried to be in complete denial of any health issues I have, they resurfaced again. Last Thursday my stomach swelled up like I was four months pregnant, and felt extremely sore and hurt. I threw up once, and the nausea kept coming back every time my stomach was empty. But if I ate (even a little) I then felt like I would vomit. I felt so extremely fatigued - just never experienced something like this before. I decided to finally go into the hospital yesterday evening (Josh was with me) and they did some blood tests. It could be a peptic ulcer, it could be something from past endometriosis, or it could be something else. Who knows! They gave me some medicine and it has worked - so I feel back to “normal.”

Finally, after feeling alright physically, last night our home was broken into. The night prior, it happened as well. I wasn’t positive about the night before, trying to convince myself it could have been the cat or something that set the alarm off. But, I was wrong. So, our home is totally secured with a top of the line security system. I set the code and activated it before we went to bed. At 9:30 PM Last night, I turned the lights out so Josh could sleep. About 10-20 minutes after that, someone broke in (thinking we were asleep but I was awake). The cat was with me on the bed. The alarm is so incredibly loud, with sirens blaring and lights flashing (you can hear it a mile or two away). This time I was brave, yet didn’t know what to do exactly. I didn’t want to be face to face with a psychotic killer, but I had to go downstairs to at least (eventually) turn the sirens off. The cops in Thailand, when called, might take an hour to arrive. I had to bring Josh with me just in case someone was inside the home and snuck upstairs. I had a pocketknife on me and mace.

I have NEVER brought any of this to Josh’s attention before, as not to scare him. But yesterday I was scared and I did scare him. I had to kind of yell at him to make him come with me as he wanted to play alone or run off in the house somewhere. I had to search every room, behind every door to check for someone. There are security guards at the subdivision 24 hours a day, but no one came over. A neighbor looked at me through his window and stared, but didn’t do anything. I don’t really expect a neighbor to do anything, but it didn’t make me feel any better. I grabbed my computer, grabbed a pillowcase and shoved some clothes and Josh’s snacks and milks in it, and we left for the night. I couldn’t stay there and take any chances. We’re at a hotel now and Josh is ok, just confused. I felt relieved that I could take him to school today, so I could figure the situation out and maybe even do a little work.

When I went to drop Josh off at school, we entered in to see that no one was there (no kids). The teachers ran out and told me that they were sorry for not contacting me sooner, but the school is shutdown for the week. Some children contracted Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease and it’s spread to others. It is very contagious so the school will sanitize everything this week. So, now Josh is at the hotel with me. I’m trying to work and trying to figure out the situation. I personally do not feel safe there at all. It’s disheartening that the security guards did not come over with the loud blaring alarms and sirens and lights - anything could have happened to us and no one would have known until it was way too late. And unfortunately, the crimes in Thailand are random, are brutal and often targeted against foreigners. So as much as I love Thailand, being a foreigner definitely makes you stand out (esp if you are a single woman and people think you have money). I believe I know who did this, or who got someone to break in. And it’s a woman, who I have seen staring at me, starting inside my home, many times. She’s flooded my yard before, turning the water pump on so it overflows, then another time turning it off so we have no water at all. It’s just so odd. But she used to talk to me and try to ask me for things, to give her stuff, anything at all. I gave her a few things but her attitude and demeanor made me uneasy. And I didn’t trust her and didn’t give her anything again - she became angry.

Lastly, I don’t know if anything was stolen or if the person was scared away. I do know that someone had to be inside of my home to make the loud sirens and full alarm to sound. I tested out all the windows and doors this morning to see if the alarm would sound by me pulling on them or opening them. It only sounds after you have entered the home (it detects major movement, if a person walks by). It then gives the person 60 seconds (it will quietly beep) until the person disables the alarm by entering in the code. No one knew the code, so after 60 seconds of being inside, the full alarm system turned on. And I guess the person had to leave - unless he or she is still in my home now!!! Stuck in there…

So, thankfully, we are ok and the principal from his school stopped over at the hotel to help us. She is a very assertive woman and already confronted the head office where I live (about the lack of security). :)

Any advice from anyone? I am thinking of renting a house elsewhere. What would you guys do? Has anyone ever encountered anything like this before? Thank you for reading my long post. :) I Hope you guys forgive me for the lack of posts lately. Now that I have opened things up again, I feel better about posting as things progress and as we resettle somewhere. Lastly, I think all of these things are “tests” in some ways or in some sort. I don’t know why it is all happening, but I am thankful we are ok.

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39 Responses to “Break-Ins, Disease & Delays”

  1. JK Swopes

    07. Jul, 2008

    Wow…that story had me captivated! I’m not sure what I would do in the situation ( break in). The main thing is you have to do whatever you feel is needed to make sure you and Josh are safe. That is the first priority.

    It sucks that no one came to help, or just watched, that would upset me as well, especially with 24 hour security!

    As far as the school situation, it definitely sounds like things worked out for the best.

  2. Holly

    07. Jul, 2008

    Thanks JK for commenting. :) It’s nice to hear from you. You’re right about people not coming to help (just staring) and it is odd that things in my past have occurred and people have also just stared. I guess my other post about kindness: http://honestholly.com/2008/being-kind-viral-love/ relates to this. In that post I mentioned this: According to Stefan Einhorn, author or “The Art of Kindness,” - the most common reason people do not help is because of what is called the “Someone Else Principle.” That’s what happens when people see a tragic event or see someone who may need help and the person does nothing, thinking “Someone else will do something - it’s someone else’s responsibility.”

    I guess that’s how the guy felt. Or he didn’t want a burglar to kill him - which makes sense, considering I don’t know the guy. :) lol. It’s odd but in my life I have had several situations where I was hurt or in danger and had someone just stared at me. That really is a chilling thing to me that I don’t dwell on, but definitely clearly remember. Quick example, I was riding on my motorbike in the mountains of northern thailand with my neighbor Whim and two other friends. We were going to visit a hilltribe village (Lisu tribe) and it wasn’t supposed to be a real rough ride. But it was extremely dangerous, with very steep downhills and uphills and sand everywhere with crevices in the sand and dirt roads. I was doing what I could with the 125 cc motorbike, going straight down a very steep hill (supposed to be a road). I wasn’t going very fast but the bike tire slipped into a crevice that was really deep and I crashed. The bike flung me with such force to the ground and it was stuck on top of me. Thankfully I wasn’t being burnt by the exhaust, although I could have been. My arm was cut open and bleeding everywhere on the right side from wrist to elbow, and the tires were spinning as the bike was still stuck on me. My friend Chris STARED AT ME AND DID NOTHING. I felt horrible and as though it was all in slow motion as he just looked at me. Then with all my force (maybe anger too LOL) I pushed it off of me and got up. That I will never forget - or understand. I suppose he could have been in shock but if not, I don’t know. :)

  3. Holly

    07. Jul, 2008

    By the way, I was 21 then - I wouldn’t go on a dangerous adventure like that now with my dear Josh around. :)

  4. JK Swopes

    07. Jul, 2008

    Yeah…sometimes in situations like that..people don’t really know what to do. He could have been in shock and unable to react, though it felt like ages…it was probably lest than 20 seconds between when you fell and threw the bike off! :)

    But yes, it’s weird.

  5. Mark Wilson

    07. Jul, 2008

    Sorry to hear about your difficult situation. It is horrible when something like that happens and you just don’t feel safe anymore.

    I used to live in an area that was very nice on the surface, a desirable place to live, nice houses, etc. But it was quite close to a more rundown neighborhood and things used to happen during the night on a regular basis. Things would be stolen from the garden, passers-by would deliberately damage the car, one night someone started a large fire at the end of our garden and we were woken by the Fire Brigade. The was also a woman who lived nearby who would put parcels of dog poo on our doorstep. Not nice at all.

    It is 7 years since we moved away and nothing like that has happened since. Where we live now is no better or worse economically, it just feels different. I don’t know whether it is just the culture of an area that makes it feel unsafe, or if it is just one or two people that make the difference - but there are certainly unquantifiable elements about a place that you just feel in your bones.

    I hope you are able to find a solution that you can live with. There is little more important than feeling at ease in your own home!

    Wishing you all the best and a speedy recovery from your health issues too, Holly.

    Mark.

  6. CWReid

    07. Jul, 2008

    Hey Holly,
    Have you considered getting a couple of guard dogs? They would alert you much sooner than the alarm. It’s really sad that people would be so jealous of your success that instead of learning how to get there themselves, they would rather try to take what you have. Maybe you should send her the link to your site so that she could learn how to get her own and leave yours alone.

  7. danmitchell

    07. Jul, 2008

    Holly,

    Sorry to hear about your recent troubles in Thailand…I live in World Club Land but just rented a place in the Pineries…near the road to Samoeng…which Moo Ban are you in? Sounds like the security is poor…

    Also, for a school I’d recommend Lanna International School…my son is 6 and he loves it there…lot’s of friends from around the world…

  8. TheDavinator

    07. Jul, 2008

    Well Holly, I can certainly see what you meant by a lot has been happening and how it was not “so uplifting”. I’m sorry to hear of all of your troubles lately. Of course I’m always praying for you concerning your health to Miss. Of course, I don’t know what it’s like first hand (I’m not a woman, as you may have guessed by now!) But, I very much remember how much pain one of my ex-girlfriends was in with endometriosis. It certainly can’t be very pleasant far anybody.

    I just hope everything is going to be fine with you. As for your book being late, I wouldn’t worry to much about that. You know we all love you anyhow (or should by now). As long as your fine, that’s the important thing. When it is all finished and complete I’m sure it’s going to kick butt!

    Take care of yourself Holly

    Davin

  9. LBurns

    07. Jul, 2008

    Hey Holly,

    As a fellow army veteran, I enjoy watching your progress in business. You have a great story.

    If I were in your situation, I’d scale up the home security until you felt safe. Make your defense more visible (i.e. higher outside wall w/ razor wire or spikes, guard dogs, a big roommate - platonic or otherwise, your own watchman, etc). Make the cost too high for them to choose you as a target.

    They may not pay attention to the alarm if they don’t know it’s there. Get whatever is available and you’re comfortable with. People can hear a shotgun cock or see the crackling of a taser. You may want to build a panic room and practice going to it.

    Please stay away from pocket knives. As a former medic, I can assure you that’s not the way you want to try to defend yourself… way too messy if it even worked. It’s more likely it’d be used on you than an attacker. People don’t just keel over the first time they get stabbed.

    No worries on the book. Things happen exactly when they’re suppose to.

    Keep plugging away. It’s great to see people overcome the odds the way you have.

    Louis

  10. Holly

    07. Jul, 2008

    Thank you all for the comments. I appreciate them. Cassandra, I like your advice. And I thought about getting a guard dog as well. Once settled somewhere, I will do that for sure.

    Mark, thank you for sharing. The situation you described about the place you once lived - is exactly like the situation I have here. It is nice here, but the people who take care of the subdivision (the homes, the gardens, cleaning the streets, everything) they are the ones who are very poor. And I don’t blame them for being annoyed by people living in nice houses that are only nice because they do all the hard work to maintain them. But, it doesn’t make it right to break in. But, right next to this subdivision is a rural one. I never even knew of it before and discovering it really opened up my eyes. Just behind where I live there is another subdivision and it is very rustic with shacks, cows, chickens, animals everywhere, and a direct view of the mountain. It is beautiful there, completely hidden to me previously. Josh and I went there to “explore” for a day and found a big dog shelter (with 40-70 homeless dogs - one of which I plan to adopt) and afterwards we walked. It was so beautiful and so quiet. In the trees were “lamyai” a type of fruit. We picked and ate the fruit as we wandered around. It was very nice. :) (sorry I am getting even further off topic).

    I’m going to reply to the other comments in a minute. I want to see if there is a way to directly reply to the commenter instead of just adding my comment to the end of these. BRB! :)

  11. Holly

    08. Jul, 2008

    Thanks Dan. What a small world! I was there yesterday with Josh’s friends from his school. The school he now goes to is Hana - do you know of it? It is really closeby as well. I have looked up Lanna and that looks really good too. How long have you lived here for? You are just a few minutes from where I live.

  12. catklc

    08. Jul, 2008

    I often wonder when a series of bad things happen, are we being tested to see how much we can endure?
    Clearly, you have proven that you can overcome and you will endure whatever god has in store for you (whether you like it or not)…So much good has happened to you in the last few years despite this unfortunate crap!
    You’ve had sweet Josh and your success..
    You were talking about this dreamhouse for a long time, weren’t you and you didn’t know how it would be possible to buy as an outsider?

    Well, now you finally have bought your dreamhouse
    and no one should be forcing you out, especially not out of fear..I would tend to agree with you that this is probably a scorned villager who has begged many a time, and is maybe resentful of their life and what you have and they don’t.. Thailand is not the only country where this is prevalent.

    I would as has been suggested, beef up security, think about the one or two people there you absolutely trust with your life and Josh’s, and I would start leaning on a couple of people if you have the people to lean on out there.
    So much of my stress has been doing it alone for so long, without the tangible support, even with friends and family that love me from a distance , how is that helpful when I have an emergency like you, or god forbid something happens to me and I’m here with Gabriel (my 5 yr. old). We need to have someone in our lives if not just to check on us to make sure that we’re okay..physically..and with the problems you’ve had in the last week, you need someone to be checking on you just in case..
    I would recommend getting a live-in, preferably a male,)”platonic” the more “intimidating,” the better
    As single parents, it is tough enough on us, but living in a strange country with a culture foreign to ours makes you an easier target..as a single woman.

    Have you thought about taking up self defense (Thai ’s version of karate) Any form of self-defense is empowering ..First you need to take care of your health of course - ok enough of my Dr. Laura reply…
    Had sent you a couple emails - hadn’t heard back and sensed something was wrong until I read Blog this. just wanted to know i was thinking about you and Josh - please make sure you are both safe, first and foremost.

    Karen Catalan

  13. Holly

    08. Jul, 2008

    Hi Karen, Thank you so much. I love your advice and I Know that you understand how I feel completely. There is one thing though about the house - I did not buy it. I guess that is a good thing now :) …it’s just that it can be very difficult (and a very long process) to purchase a home here (as a foreigner with no thai spouse). But, I am planning on purchasing a piece of land possibly in the near future - and building a house. It is so affordable here to do so. But more importantly, I know all of the people who I would be living next door to. My friend bought a piece of land and is selling off sections of it (1/4 of an acre each section) and it would be incredible to live with people who are kind of like an extended family. We haven’t known each other all that long, but our kids all go to the same school and are all friends. We’re all sort of in a similar situation because we have all moved here or started our kids at the school around the same time (the people I am talking about who may buy land together). That situation would be amazing. I would have a support system like you mentioned. At this time, scary to mention this but I have none. My close friends have moved away or back to their countries. And, I have no family left here. It is very frightening to think about if something were ever to happen. I am just trying to take precautions and thankfully have become pretty close with Josh’s principal and other families from the school. Your advice about having a male friend live with us - that I think will not happen. It sounds pretty funny though and it is possible here to have a guard watch your house 24/day. That is normally for big mansions, but anyone can pay a guard! :) lol. I think I will just get a dog though :) ….About the self defense - that is a good idea. I did take it in the army but it’s been so long since then. I need it! :) Thank you Karen and I will contact you soon ok. :) Take care of you and Gabriel.

  14. advocado

    08. Jul, 2008

    Hey Holly,

    Praying for you and your son continuously

    Am I posting my comments wrong?

    I have posted about 5 comments and none of them are on the site or get answered

    they always read “moderator blah blah” If I am doing it wrong is there a help desk?

  15. danmitchell

    08. Jul, 2008

    Holly,

    I’ve been living with my family - wife and two boys - in Chiangmai the last 10 months…I’m back home in Canada now for another 4 weeks. Then back in paradise.

    I’ve talked to your german “holy man” a few times…I think he’s just plain crazy - schizophrenic perhaps… the camera thing was spooky however…I’m glad you stopped like I did.

    I noticed you like poetry - check out my Facebook group…http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2416793140

    Cool to run into a neighbor…

    danmitchells last blog post..Affiliate Summit, Las Vegas

  16. Rodney

    08. Jul, 2008

    Hi Holly,

    What an epic adventurous life you have in LOS!

    Regarding your home security; do you have close Thai friends? They would help you out. There’s cultural thing in Thailand where they Thais have a separate life to Farang and so, traditionally, we Farang find some one to do all the arranging or interfacing with the Thais on important matters. A person known as “a comprador”. That person maybe a farang who has been in Thailand for a long time and seems to be Thai. There’s a really good blog I know where you write to ask for help; http://www.stickmanbangkok.com. A guy from New Zealand been in Thailand for a long time. There will also be blogs for expats in the nearest major city to you, such as chiangmaiexpats, or phuketexpats, etc. There’s probably some one just around the corner.
    The big rally in BKK was quite orderly as the PM kept the Police out and let the people demonstrate as much as they liked. The middle classes up up in arms over their losses on the stockmarket etc. due to the crashing USD$, so they are blaming the government who represent the poor. They, the middle classes in BKK, were the ones that created the recent military coupe too set up by the CIA and Mossad in order to reopen US bases that were set up during the Vietnam War. There are new oil fields off the coast of South East Thailand. That’s what the fighting between the Thais and Malays is about; US Foreign Policy, to get the oil! They staged the coupe to be able to re-establish the bases without any one noticing, at the time. The King won’t allow another coupe, he lost face big time over the last one. Face is very important to Thais, more so than the Chinese. You could try gifts to the guards but you will need some one to do it for you, to get the results you want, some who knows the scene there. It will cost you but it’ll be worth it. If you can get into a Thai scene where there are very few farang, if any at all, will be very good for you, and your son. You have to be introduced. The Thais have two cultures, one for them and us, and another just for themselves. Just learn Thai very well, and copy them. Talk up the King, get a big picture of him in your home. He’s really a great man. I love his work as he is the only one doing anything of long term value for the people. He’s got huge projects turning Thai farming organic, and self sufficiency for the peasants. He brings in experts from all over the world to teach every thing from recycling to ethical economics to his people. He is one of the true benign monarchs alive today.
    As the old saying goes,”When in Rome…”
    Rodney

  17. Holly

    08. Jul, 2008

    Thanks Rodney! I know what you mean about how Thai people are when they think of you as a Thai person and when you are just a “falang,” as i have lived in both types of villages in Thailand. I really deeply prefer to be treated like a thai person and accepted into their culture. I didn’t think about that when I moved into this subdivision of mine - and it really does make all the difference in quality of life (if you enjoy people anyway). :) Thank you for your advice :) Take care!!

  18. Holly

    08. Jul, 2008

    Holly

    Thank you Louis. :) I agree with the advice about not using a pocket knife. Besides the fact that I don’t know what I am doing - I also would probably have it turned on myself or taken from me and used against me. That would be really bad. :( Any advice about self defense then? :) lol..I have mace but that’s about it. I have no skills other than an intense deep down commitment to protect my son and myself (for his sake because he needs me around). It’s odd to think about these things because when I was thinking about the knife - I could end up in prison as far as I know if I were to defend myself. That would be worse (being in a thai prison) than getting killed! :) Well anyway, thank you Louis again - and I enjoyed your comment and hearing from you. :)

  19. annaverawilliams

    08. Jul, 2008

    Holly, I just saw this. One thing is to really take a look at where you are living and whether you should stay there. Maybe check on a place with more reliably security. That alarm did you no good and whoever it was probably knows that.

    Next, I think the guard dog idea is the best idea. Dogs know things that alarms and people don’t. They will tend to know if someone is still around somewhere hiding and maybe even where they are. And burglers are TERRIFIED of dogs. That is the one major thing which will keep them away from your home and send them searching elsewhere. (I know this from an actual burgler - more on that in a minute.) Dogs are also very loyal and they will defend you much better than your neighbor.

    Another thing - if you lived near people you know who could come and help you … it seems one of the commenters on this thread lives in Thailand.

    Okay but here is the next thing. Small foreign cute woman living alone in big nice house with no dog makes you too good a target. Especially if there is no big fence etc.

    Okay now I had a friend once whose home was broken into more than once by someone with a gun etc. Now the odd thing is that she eventually got in communication with this person to the point where he realized what he was doing and they became friends. I know this is really weird and I don’t suggest you try this! But it was … after that he would break into her house when she was gone and vacuum the whole place.

    Anyway he taught her how she had made herself an easy target. And, how criminals think and how to defend herself.

    One thing was that he could tell by looking in her car that she was a woman alone at home. That’s because there was a ton of stuff piled up on the passenger seat of the car. No joke, he said that is always a sign of a woman alone.

    Next - he said that she should leave clues around to give an idea of a big man in the home. He told her to leave big pairs of boots in front of the door.

    Then he said that the one thing that will turn a criminal away from your home is a dog. Dog = no-go. Think about it. Dogs don’t look you criminals and think “oh, he has a gun, I better not leap for his throat …”

    Okay. Then he taught her another thing. I don’t know if you can do this in Thailand. But he told her if she ever feels like “someone is out there” she should turn all the lights on, open the curtains, and pace around the house back and forth carrying a big rifle. I am not joking, he taught her to do this. Of course, that was for the scenario where the criminal is outside. But if you are walking around with that and they see you … I don’t know if guns are legal over there or if there is anything similar you can use.

    But the main thing which I think you could do is the dog. I love cats but they don’t scare thieves away.

    annaverawilliamss last blog post..Internet Marketing: Finish What You Start

  20. annaverawilliams

    08. Jul, 2008

    Oh and one other thing. The male roommate idea is a good idea but it has to be someone trustworthy. Even a good neighbor would be much better. I get the picture of a strong native Thai with a motorcycle and clean flows. But in any case you have to learn how to really judge people before its too late. Just the fact of having a strong man around makes a difference. In fact maybe you could call someone up to go with you back to your home and check the place out (are you still in a hotel?)

    annaverawilliamss last blog post..Internet Marketing: Finish What You Start

  21. Holly

    08. Jul, 2008

    Thanks Anna! I Like your advice too! :) I will stick with getting a dog though. :) A really sweet dog with a really evil defensive side! :) lol..we’re still at a hotel. I have been trying to work but the connection is really slow. ;) I hope you are doing well my bff ;) lol

  22. TheDavinator

    08. Jul, 2008

    Well this is a long thread. One thought though Holly. Perhaps you could hire a big burly type of guy to do your yard work or something like that, so people would think that there is a male living there also, plus, your guard dog would be with you in the evenings. Would that work?
    Just a thought, maybe it would give that impression to anybody scoping out your house?

    Davin

  23. advocado

    08. Jul, 2008

    Hey Holly,

    Im sure there are some self defense classes that you could take. But I’ve found good ol prayer covering for an area has worked wonders and of coursekeeping solid trustworthy people around you. When you notice some people that are envious and trying to “case” your place not allowing them access to know all that you do or own etc

    Also did you happen to recieve the book recommendations that I sent to you via email?

    I did want to check out the book you recommended

    Thanks Again
    Andre

  24. LBurns

    08. Jul, 2008

    Hey Holly, re: self defense - it doesn’t work. Almost any martial arts master will tell you it’s a sport and leaves too many contingencies open to be effective on the street or in a dark hallway.

    What does work is violence. If you realize it’s going to be a him-or-you situation, you have to use violence to injure him until he can’t get back up. And it has to be specific violence - break ankles, crush throat, rupture testicles, hit targets… the stuff that’s not allowed in martial arts.

    Otherwise it’s just strength against strength MMA style and that’s probably not where you want to go. The best stuff I’ve found on that is Tim Larkin with his TFT system. Matt Furey recommends him too.

    All that’s definitely last resort. Better to have visible deterrence. No one knows if your proficient with violence until it’s too late. You’d survive but it would be better to not have to deal with the probable PTSD you’d have from permanently debilitating another person with your own hands.

    It would probably be worth finding out about the self defense laws there. If it turned out you’d go to prison for defending yourself in your own home, you’d want a backup plan if it came to that. If you had to relocate or leave the country to avoid going to prison, that would still be better than what might happen if you didn’t resolve the incident yourself.

    So like everyone here is saying, getting dogs is probably your best bet. Maybe some inside and some outside so there’s no question they’re there and you have them handy wherever you need them. Evidence of dogs helps too… signs, large dog house, large dog bowl, chewed up toys, etc.

    Mace is good if you’re familiar with the range, you’re clear headed enough in the moment to point it the right direction, the canister hasn’t expired, the wind isn’t blowing your direction, etc. Inside a house, you’d probably get hit by the fumes too. If that happens, maybe you can have a nice conversation with the assailant while you’re both blind and convince him to come back later and vacuum. :)

    Louis

    LBurnss last blog post..The Real Reading Modality

  25. Holly

    08. Jul, 2008

    Wow Louis, Thank you! That made me smile and also made me think. I imagined myself lying on the floor after I maced myself and chatting with the psychotic burglar! Not a good sight if Josh was around - not good for any of us. But, I will definitely look into the laws (even though they are very pliable) about self defense. Sometimes I think anything goes and it depends on who you are and who you know. That is a frightening thought though. About the self defense tactics you mentioned - I attempted using them before and shockingly (not so shocking actually lol) I was not as strong as I thought. If someone is on drugs and violent - they can have incredible strength and hardly feel any pain. It can be really dangerous. When I was 17 I was struggling living with family and I spent a lot of time with my best friend - her family was really dysfunctional. Her step dad (or mom’s boyfriend) attacked her one night and I tried to help her. I saw him push her over their couch and was really hurting her (and she was strong and filled with fury too). I tried to grab his arms to hold them behind his back so he couldn’t hurt her. That lasted for about two seconds! lol. It became really scary at one point and I dialed 9-1-1 and threw the phone to my dear innocent friend Krisitin (her mom was a social worker and she was so scared and frightened being there during this time). So she went outside to call the police. The guy pushed my friend up against their fridge and held her there. She got out of it and held him by the neck and said she’d hold him there until the cops came. I tried to help as his arms were still free and with such a force and anger he flung us off of him and we both hit the cupboards behind us. That situation was bad. My attempts at self defense did not work. We ran outside and the cops showed up. He was taken in, but then released shortly after. I never went to their home again. :) I don’t even know if my parents ever knew about that night. But anyway, I am a totally different person. Now that I am a mom, I know that i Have the guts to do whatever it takes to keep us safe. I would not be afraid to do any of those disgusting self defense tactics - but prior to having a child, I probably would rather have died than even think about gouging someone’s eyes out or doing anything else really gruesome to protect us. lol…

  26. annaverawilliams

    08. Jul, 2008

    Okay that last line really made me laugh. Particularly since that story happens to be true … not that I recommend counting on ever assailant to be so amenable.

    annaverawilliamss last blog post..Internet Marketing: Finish What You Start

  27. Holly

    08. Jul, 2008

    Andre, thank you so much. I will check through my emails for your book recommendations. I appreciate it. I have allowed my inbox to reach the full point and it will take about 5 hours to sort through it all and reply. :) Hopefully I’ll find time to do that soon! :) I appreciate the prayers. I can feel that a lot of people are praying for us in this odd situation. I know everything will be alright, but I just hope we find a place soon. ;) Take care!

  28. Holly

    08. Jul, 2008

    Anna, you are funny! These comments are driving me crazy - I keep trying to reply to a specific person’s comments and it doesn’t work. So, it looks like I called you Andre…lol…I hope you are doing well Anna I miss talking to you. Since Josh is asleep now hopefully I can get through some things and write!

  29. annaverawilliams

    09. Jul, 2008

    Thanks Holly - I’m going to sleep now … I will think about how lucky I am not to have 5 hours worth of emails to answer!

    Have you considered hiring a big burly man to handle your emails? A kind of giant live-in virtual assistant? :D :))

    annaverawilliamss last blog post..Internet Marketing: Finish What You Start

  30. Holly

    09. Jul, 2008

    Goodnight Anna! I like that idea :) I would like to hire a big burly man to handle all of those emails! :) lol. It seems that “big burly” men can really solve all of our life problems - so it must be a good idea! lol. You should create a freelance site for “big burly men” who can come to the rescue for all of life’s issues! LOL. I think they actually have that for real. I remember seeing or hearing an ad about “Hire a man,” or something similar if you need something; someone to fix something or babysit for you or anything! lol..that is so funny!

  31. LBurns

    09. Jul, 2008

    Holly - my point exactly. Unless you damage the person, he can keep coming… drugs or not. Pain is irrelevant. No one can walk on a shattered knee and no amount of drugs will be able to change that fact.

    And even then, if some guy is going to come after you, he deserves whatever you dish out. I don’t doubt you’d do what you have to. The protective mama bear is always the scariest animal to encounter.

    If I ever meet you in a dark alley, I’ll yell out, “Wait, don’t hurt me… I’m with the big burly man company! I’m here to answer your email.”

  32. annaverawilliams

    09. Jul, 2008

    “I’m here to answer your email …”

    Actually that could probably work on a lot of people when getting out of tough spots.

    annaverawilliamss last blog post..Internet Marketing: Finish What You Start

  33. kathy

    09. Jul, 2008

    Wow Holly!

    I think if I were you I’d have to move. I know you love the house and it is beautiful but you probably won’t ever feel really safe there.

    The guard dog is a great idea. I’d get two, both of them females. Female dogs are more protective than their male couterparts. I guess it’s the motherly instinct.

    That’s a wonderful idea with the land. Maybe you could start a little community of people looking out for one another. Have a “neighborhood watch”.

    As far as the book goes, you need to concentrate on your health. That little guy needs you. Don’t keep putting it off. Find what’s wrong so that it doesn’t get worse. We can wait on the book.

    I’ll be praying for your safety and speedy recovery,
    Kathy

  34. Craig Peri

    03. Aug, 2008

    No Excuses.

    Well then Miss Holly…I should be getting an email from you very soon telling me that you & Josh are either coming over here to New Zealand to live in peace and harmony with me and everyone else or that you want all of us “big burly” men from HonestRiches to stand guard outside your palace.

    The Queen of England has her guards. So too should the Queen of HonestRiches.

    Ok…now my turn to open up.

    I’m going to just let it rip and hope it all comes out correct.

    It bothers me emotionally knowing that you and Josh my extended family are hurting and I feel so defenseless living so far away and knowing that I cannot be there at this present time to help you both. Brings back deep hurtful memories of not being there to help my own family. Deja Vu all over again. Holly you know my feelings and love that I still hold very deeply in my heart concerning my own wife and daughter. Same applies to you and Josh. You are and will always be family to me. I’ve already lost one daughter. Couldn’t handle it if anything happened to you or Josh.

    Since I’m feeling and being emotional I also want to say openly and publically too from my heart that I have nothing but “Unconditonal Love” for both you and Josh.

    (ANY deviate mongrels who may think otherwise…NO! I am not hitting on Holly you sick units!!!)

    Unconditional Love - is a term that means to love someone regardless of his or her actions or beliefs.By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. It has also been used in a religious context to describe God’s love for humankind.

    Some secular authors make a distinction between unconditional love and conditional love. In conditional love: love is ‘earned’ on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met by the lover, whereas in unconditional love, love is ‘given freely’ to the loved one ‘no matter what’. Conditional love requires some kind of finite exchange whereas unconditional love is seen as infinite and measureless. Unconditional love should not be mistaken with unconditional dedication: unconditional dedication refers to an act of the will irrespective of feelings (e.g a person may consider they have a duty to stay with a person); unconditional love is an act of the feelings irrespective of will.

    =========================================

    Holly you give unconditional love to all who seek your help. When your touched by an angel of God then you can give nothing but love in return.

    So I’m returning the LOVE.

  35. TheDavinator

    04. Aug, 2008

    Amen to that, brother!

    Davin

  36. Holly

    04. Aug, 2008

    To Craig (and Davin) - thank you for caring so deeply. Each time you write to me Craig, I am in awe of the kindness of your words and sincerity. I am so grateful to have you guys in my life. Sometimes distant friends can be so much closer to me than family. No one in my family (other than my mom) asked me what happened with the situation. If you do care about someone, it’s important to just say how you feel because you never know when you will get the chance to. Anything can happen at any time. Just yesterday I drove by what looked like to be a deadly motorcycle accident. I didn’t see the person who had been hurt (maybe he/she was already taken away by an ambulance) but I saw family sitting on the curb (distraught) at the intersection and the destroyed motorcycle lying in the street with a trail of glass and pieces of bike along the way. I Hope the person is ok. So many of the motorbike drivers do not wear helmets - it is so odd. I know that at least each person knows someone (in their family) who has been hurt or killed in a motorbike accident (it is that common) yet they still would rather have their hair look perfect instead of wear a helmet. …sorry I am in a little tangent now…

    Back to you Craig - we are ok now don’t worry. :) We moved to a new place and it is the most amazing place I have ever lived in my life. I know it could be like a ‘honeymoon’ phase of being here but I don’t think so. The street I live on has the most amazing groups of families and kids. Our first week here, the next door neighbor (they are from the Phillipines but lived in Africa as missionaries for more than 12 yrs) made us lunch and brownies. Then we were invited to a kids choir on my street and we attended. There were kids from all over the world (and all over the neighborhood) singing together. They were INCREDIBLE. The next day the kids and a family went to Mae Sot, Thailand to help the Burmese children and refugees. They performed at a church there. I love people and I love kids - so it is awesome because our neighbor (right next door) is 12 yrs old and he loves Josh. They actually look alike but his hair is darker than Joshs. He comes over everyday and plays with Josh. They have SO MUCH FUN and he’s like family already! Josh said he is his best friend. :) So, so far - this place has been awesome. Our home is much smaller than before but much safer too and more private. I really love it. There is no gigantic backyard but it’s more than worth it. :) I’m planning to buy land and a build a home eventually but it takes time to find the right place - safety is key. :) Besides that, we have increased our family!!! We got two turtles that josh named “Holly” and “Josh” and our cat impregnated a stray nearby! LOL…It’s so interesting how life can change and goals and ideals can too. Now, I just dream of havin g a place that is safe, having a garden, having lots nad lots of fruit trees, animals and a horse. :)

    Ok so I think I’ve talked enough about myself here Craig! I Hope you email me and let me know how YOU are doing and what is going on. I haven’t seen you around online in ages. I am very thankful and grateful to have you in my life. THANK YOU. Love holly and joshie mann (he’s almost four now)

  37. annaverawilliams

    04. Aug, 2008

    Holly that’s great news about your new place. You moved really fast! That was impressive. I really laughed about the turtles and then laughed again about the cats! Is your cat getting married then? Is it approved, or will it be like a kind of Romeo and Juliet relationship. Or maybe like Shakespeare in Love … the poor, penniless stray, and the rich, famous, pampered pet.

    I know exactly what you mean about distant friends. Have you met Davin or Craig in person? Just curious, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. The reason I ask is I sometimes wonder what it would be like to meet online friends in person. Would we get along as well offline? I mean there are lots of people - poets on my blog, photographers on my photo forum … all this … now I am going on tangents too. We were talking about cats!

    annaverawilliamss last blog post..Holly Mann’s Honest Riches 2008 | Latest Edition

  38. AnnaKC

    24. Aug, 2008

    You people are truly amazing. I am new to this site, and have just posted a question elsewhere, but can I just say it cheers me up to just read your posts? What a great relief from the usual internet marketing websites.. It is so fantastic to read some sincere, honest and so caring posts! I have been dreaming about the internet being this kind of experience, and just want to say how happy I am to be reading your comments, and to have discovered this site! Thank you all very much.

  39. Holly

    25. Aug, 2008

    Hi Anna, Thank you. I am so happy you joined our site here. :) THANK YOU. I hope you continue to post here. I am going to try to make it so readers can have their own pages/blogs here as well if they would like. :)

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