Be the One - Viral Kindness
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Kindness is viral. Believe it or not, one person truly can change the world for others. It’s a fact that we are more inclined to help others if we ourselves are well treated. Numerous human studies have been conducted to demonstrate this fact.
(Note: I created this post because I made a recent post about the hit and run accident in Connecticut, in which no one helped the man who was lying in the road. The post became very active with comments and opinions, and thought some people might want to share more advice, opinions and personal experiences here. So I am writing this post about human kindness. I bought the book - The Art of Being Kind - and it has some very interesting information, some of which I share in this post).
Experiment #1: Involved people making a phone call at a payphone
- In half of the cases, a coin had been left in the slot for returned money
- Just as the unknowing participants left the phone booth, after either receiving or not receiving a coin, a woman would walk past and drop a folder of papers on the ground
- 9 out of 10 who found the money in the slot - HELPED the lady
- very few (less than 4%) who had not received a coin in the slot helped the lady
That is just one of many studies that have been done. Imagine how small of a "gift" that is. A coin can inspire people (unknowingly) to give and be kind to a fellow human. If that was a real lady who dropped her stuff and someone knelt down to help her, I’m sure that could have an impact on her. Imagine what a real act of kindness can do to help inspire others.
According to Stefan Einhorn, author or "The Art of Kindness," - the most common reason people do not help is because of what is called the "Someone Else Principle." That’s what happens when people see a tragic event or see someone who may need help and the person does nothing, thinking "Someone else will do something - it’s someone else’s responsibility."
Experiment #2: Participants sat in a small room and were in contact with others in neighboring rooms via telephone
- One of the people in the experiment said that he occasionally suffered from seizures and wasn’t feeling well & needed help
- Results: 85% of the people tried to help if they thought they were alone with the unwell man
- Results: If there was one other participant, the willingness to help fell to 62%
- Results: With four or more people around, people only helped in 31% of the cases
The book that the experiments were taken from (The Art of Being Kind), is quite good. I am half-way through it now. The author is a doctor, and he wrote it to share his ideas and thoughts (and studies and experiments) on human kindness and how it affects the world. The book was an inspiration to me. The author, Stefan Einhorn, said "Kindness is the single most important factor in achieving success and satisfaction in life - being a good person can make you happier, more successful and more fulfilled. A person who is kind is on the path to success."
Have you had any experiences that have impacted you? Acts of kindness from strangers or have you ever witnessed the "Someone Else Principle"? What are your thoughts?
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PS - I am NOT just writing this to promote that Amazon.com book by the way.
I just wanted to put it on there for anyone who may want to purchase it. I really am interested in learning about the experiences you may have had or encounters you recall or ones that have impacted you. 
Hey, that’s a great post Holly. It really reminds me of some stuff I was reading from Mark Joyner on similar sorts of studies. The study was on what is called “herding”. In many ways, people can be like animals is what the study revealed. “Herding”, comes from the way that cows or may other animals always travel or group in herds. Generally, if one person does one good deed, it becomes infectious. The next person, sees the good deed and passes it on. Eventually, a group of people is created coming together as a “herd”. It can become very much like a whole “movement” of people. People, tend to see things as others see them, the larger the group becomes. It’s very interesting stuff. There was a lot more to it than that, way to much to put in a post. I think we’ve already seen some very good evidence, that acts of kindness and helping one another is infectious ourselves…..yes?
Thanx for the great post Holly!
Davin
I love it! I agree, being kind is viral. It is surprising how often many will look over there fellow person in need.
I remember watching a show, where some contestants where being interviewed for a show about kindness. They were then given some money, and told to get over to the studio for the audition.
On the way, they were sent past a man, on the ground, with one shoe missing, and he was upset. Some stopped, some offered food, one man even offered to buy him some shoes. While others pretended not to see him, pretended to be on the phone or other things.
It was very interesting to see, makes you more aware of your surroundings and how you interact with people around you.
I definitely agree with “viral kindness”. It can become seriously contagious.
I have been affected by kindness in many ways, especially when I was young and my family was very poor. I live in California now, but I grew up in NY in a church in which we were very actively involved. We had just started attending, and we were ready to move to live with my grandmother, as my parents were 3 months late on their rent and had $1.00 left to their name. A couple who did not know us but got our names from a friend had knocked on our door the exact same night, and gave my parents a check to cover their expenses. They said that God told them to come over that night and give us that money. If they had not come, who knows, our future would have been very different. I will never forget that act of kindness.
It is also completely fulfilling to give as well. I don’t think people realize how life-altering it can be when you give and see the expression on their faces or feel the positive energy of that moment. It is a feeling that cannot be compared with monetary things. At that church, we used to feed the poor in an adjacent neighborhood. I remember greeting the families, with the young children. To see the happy expressions on those mothers and those young children is something I will never forget. Giving hugs to those mothers was so rewarding (Yes, I am a hugger). I keep thinking that I had to be getting more out of the experience than they were, from the elation I was feeling. It was surreal. We prayed with them and their whole countenance changed…it gave them hope, and being a part of that was priceless!
I think if people experienced how rewarding it is to give to another, maybe there would be a lot more of it going on. I think we were created to give. I don’t mean that we shouldn’t be happy and successful ourselves. I just think that our happiness and success should be shared with others. And somehow, it always comes back, and then we have more of it to share again. Its a never ending cycle. When we hold our kindness, we can’t receive anything more, and then we might not have any more to give. Does this make any sense? Has anyone else felt wonderful after an act of kindness?
Thanks for the post and for letting me share.
Jenna
The first thing I thought of when I read the title to this post was the movie “Pay it Forward.” Rather than assume that everyone who reads this post has seen the movie, I’ll give the main theme of the movie. “Pay it Forward” is about a boy (played by Haley Joel Osment) who comes up with an idea because of a school assignment about improving the world around him. He comes up with the idea that he will do something nice for 3 people. The only condition of this kind favor is that they do not try to pay it back, but to pay it forward. That is, they are to do a kind favor for three other people. It ends up with that “infectious” or “viral” effect. Very good movie if you haven’t seen it!
I remember when I was very young, my mom, my brother and I were traveling and ended up with a flat tire out on a highway, kind of in the middle of nowhere. This was back before cell phones were common place. We were stuck and it was raining outside and my mom didn’t know what to do. A truck pulled up behind us and this scraggly, scruffy looking guy got out and offered to help. Hesitant to accept help from someone who looked so frightening, but unsure of what else to do, my mother agreed to let the man jack up our car, take the tire to get it repaired and bring it back and put it back on (all in the rain, mind you). When the job was done and he was getting ready to leave, the man said to my mom, “I know that you were afraid to let me help you, but it’s ok. I am a Christian too.” As far as I can recall, he did not accept any kind of payment or anything…just doing a good deed.
To this day I think about that when I see someone on the side of the road. The impact that’s had on me is that I try (whenever possible) to follow that “good Samaritan” example. What’s truly amazing is people’s responses to an act of kindness that when nothing is accepted in return. It’s as if they refuse to believe that another person could do something out of kindness alone.
Lol…now I’m thinking of all kinds of things I could share, but I’ll leave it at that for now. Thanks for the great post, Holly!
Thank you for the comments. They are great to hear and I love the stories of kindness.
The most recent experience I had with this was in the Ukraine with Josh. We were in a remote village at the train station and pretty desperate to take a train out of their back to Kiev (the capital). All of the signs in the train station were in Ukrainian characters and there were long lines at different counters. So I waited in one randomly and the lady knew where I wanted to go, but couldn’t explain to me that they didn’t have a train there! She was very annoyed with me and became frustrated! NO one spoke a single word of English. There was a young man (20-something) in front of us and he bought his train ticket, then decided to help us.
It’s strange but I understood what he was trying to say to me even though it was in another language. He was walking Josh and I to the bus station. It was a mile away and I was thinking that he might miss his own train. He then got us on a small mini-van to Kiev (leaving 15 mins later) and made sure we weren’t overcharged. I couldn’t appreciate it enough. He told me that he had a son Josh’s age (once again, I have no idea how I understood this with no English). Oh yeah and he knew one word - boyfriend! He said “Boyfriend?” - as though he was confused that I was traveling around with a toddler and a huge suitcase. I told him “Nie nie” which means NO. So on we went and finally we said goodbye to him. I thanked him and Josh hugged him. I think that made it clear to him how much we appreciate it.
I didn’t know this but as Josh and I sat on the minivan waiting to leave, the guy was still around. A couple mins before we left he looked back into the van to say goodbye. I felt like I was saying goodbye to a loved one! It was surreal. He made sure we were ok and were off safely. I’ve never even had a guy walk me to my door after a date or open a door for me. So this act of kindness from a stranger really lifted my spirits. I just wanted to get out of that city and he truly helped us avoid all frustrations of attempting to communicate again.
About Jenna’s post - I agree with you completely that people have no idea how much kindness can affect others - as well as yourself. I could go on and on but I will write more later.
kindness is consious decision people make. People without kindness are like robot.
I got pull over by dogs excuse me police officers other day. I was middle of tune-up and having customer’s spark plug with me. I was on the way to get part. Officer asked license and insurance, bit later he told me to step out of car. I told him”i am middle of work and i have to return plugs or he will be in troble.” He responsed”step out of car.” I said”Can i pull my car to apartment next to the road?” He said”step out of car.”
I said” Can i call lawer?” He gose”step out of car. Do not make me do this.” His hand reaching to gun.
Fine, I got out and same rutine stuff.
Dogs,robot, whatever call it.
At jail, this is my third time in same jail, all detansion officers know me. So we chat, after that the police office play cool by telling me he gonna help me out to go back to my country,giving me his phone no.
It is sad but being kind is honable thing in this world.
Society has changed a lot over the years. I think we are all just so busy that sometimes we forget that there are other people in the world.
The smallest act can make someones’ day. We had some new neighbors move in next door. They have three kids. I made them some homemade brownies the other night and took them over to them while they were still warm and welcomed them to the neighborhood. The expression on their faces was priceless. They kept saying “I thought they only did this on TV.”
I know it made my day, I just hope it did the same for them.
That is so great Kathy! I loved hearing their response! So cute.
Well … the story you told Holly, I don’t know why, but it reminded me of a specific picture. I was in Mongolia, I was 18. I had just rode a horse about 350 miles and was physically not well. I sold the horse and was hitch-hiking north. But at that time there were trucks going like maybe 2 or 3 times a day. I was in a gas station waiting for a truck to come. I was so sick. These old men lay me down on a wooden table and told me they would wake me up if a truck came. Finally one came and I got in. The boy whose family I had been staying with was standing there and the driver was asking “has she eaten?” and the boy was explaining that I hadn’t, and how I had come by horse from such-and-such, and all that. Anyway that was 1993 … I stayed in touch with those people for a long time. Just a couple years ago I lost contact with that truck-driver because I think we both changed email addresses. But it was an ordinary thing for me traveling as a teenager. I was always being scooped up and put to bed, fed, fussed over. In Spain the police would pay for my hotel rooms so I wouldn’t sleep outside in the bushes as I had planned …
In any case, this isn’t the first time I come to this blog with Internet marketing in mind and wind up on another tangent! What I was GOING to say would be so out of place now, I think I will have to comment it on another post!
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